Weeds dancing in my garden makes my blood boil. For some people noisome nails across the chalkboard will do it, but seeing weed voodoo rituals in my garden irks me. It sets me in gear for an organized persecution of these desirable plant choking savages.

I put all this time into starting seeds indoors and what appreciation does my garden show? That dirt just as well stand up and stab me in the back. All the tender care, all the preparation, all the nutrients, all the clod hobbling and me left holding the bag while weeds glare at me holding little wiki dolls made in my image.

If there is anything to eating bread by the sweat of your brow then you can bet your last cow pie that weeds are at the root of it. Or are they?

Long before I was born the tobacco farmers held weed inquisitions in advance. They took their axes, pitch forks, torches and rakes into the woods, cleared out a new patch of ground, piled the firewood and brush, and burned the ground. Why did they do this? It provided nutrients to the soil, and killed the weed seeds. Didn't even give them a chance to smoke the peace pipe.

I don't have enough wood to do that. I suppose I could dig all the dirt out of my garden, load it in a dump truck and take it to a steel foundry and beg them to cook it for me. Then I could carry it back to my garden and put it back in. After figuring out how to escape from my little white jacket I could probably plant my garden and be weed free for a season or two.

Now I've been blogging about how easy it is to start seeds indoors, but I will guarantee it is much easier to start weed seeds. All you need to do is make one start at preparing your garden and the next time you go outdoors they'll be there waiting for you, wiki doll with your image in one hand, needle to poke you with in the other. Believe me, weeds are persistent as death and taxes.

Oh yes, there is the garden hoe, but that is where the weeds test your mortality. Only characters as stout and strong as John Henry and his hammer are up to that task and just like fighting the steam engine took him down, weeds will take you down if you let them. The trick is to outsmart the weeds.

How do you do that? While you are starting your seeds indoors, employ some strategy outdoors. Work up your garden and get it ready for planting then put down ground covering and cover it with mulch. Another tactic is to investigate selective herbicides that will kill weeds but not the plants you want to grow. Still another tactic is to consider container gardening or raised bed gardens. These methods are not that expensive and have the ability to take so much work out of gardening that you may begin to believe you're involved in a hobby.