Question
We have no clue as to what we are doing!!!!!!!  As first time homebuyers our funds are limited and we cannot afford a landscaper this year. Our front yard as large bald, spots and those yellow flower things(dandelions?)  growing every where.  There are also plants that look like greens (mustard, kale, collard) or something throughout the yard.  I have physically tried to pull those out but it is hard.  We were told to till, fertilize  and then sod.  We were told to till, fertilize and seed.  WE TRIED weed be gone but our yard just got a kick out of that!!!!What would you do on a limited budget?  We don't even know what type of seed or sod to purchase and I am not sure what "zone" we are in or what that means - other than it seems that I could possibly purchase the wrong seed based on the climate?  I told my husband maybe we should just try a small area first since we don't know what to do.  I would rather mess up a part of my yard than to have the whole thing dug up and grass still not grow!!!!!  Please advise

Answer
These are Dandelions: http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?_adv_prop=image&fr=my-vert-web-top&...

Dandelions have Pro's and Con's.  Pro's:  The LONG Tap Roots of the Dandelion break up hardened poor Soil PLUS they pull up vitamins and minerals from deep down and bring it near the soil surface, which your future Lawn will appreciate.  And you can make wishes on the Dandelion puffs.

Con's:  They make THOUSANDS of other Dandelions in one single Summer season.  They grow anywhere they want, they take over your Lawn, they are invincible and they are Perennial -- so every one that is growing right now that you see will STILL BE THERE next year, and the year after that, and the year after that, multiplying into potentially HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of offspring -- and THAT is no exaggeration.

So now, you have a Clue about Dandelions.

Step #1: Buy a high quality Dandelion Weeder.  These are thin, strong forks, specialized for removing Dandelions.  My Home Depot in Westbury, L.I., stopped carrying these and the Garden Dept guys there don't even know what they are.  (The Hardware guy DID and explained they stopped selling them.)  You may have to make some phone calls for this.  They're an important tool to have in the garage because EVERY year there will be new Dandelions to get rid of.  Get the whole Tap Root.  Pull it completely out of the ground.  A piece of Tap Root will grow a new Dandelion.  Remove EVERYTHING.

While you're looking for one, make sure that those Dandelions don't go to seed.  If you mow, they won't have the chance to flower and seed.  If you see a Yellow Flower in the yard, pluck it -- and put it in a plastic bag.  Treat it like toxic waste.  Enclose it so none of them gets out when they toss the trash into the truck.  Because they go everywhere and they seed all over the place.  Down with Dandelions.

Now, if you are a vegetarian, you can actually save the leaves and make a nice salad for dinner.  They are tasty and healthy.  But you don't have to do that.

Do you need to save up for the Dandelion Weeder (a good model will run around $18-25 -- save the receipt in case it breaks; I had one that was made in China, it broke at Dandelion number 3 so I returned it to Hicks for a refund and went elsewhere)?  Meantime, use a shovel or a pitchfork or something else to loosen the soil and remove them all.  Less efficient, more cumbersome, but it gets the job done.  This is a priority.  This is Step #1.

Step #2:  Don't waste any more money on ANYTHING called Weed N Feed, Weed B Gon, Weed Killer.  This will wreck your soil and it will make the neighborhood birds and Earthworms sick.  Plus it's not good for you, either.  Ditto, Malathion, DDT, 2,4-D, Sevin, ALL those chemicals are B-A-D BAD!  If it has a skull and bones, DON'T BUY IT.  Your funds are limited.  You do not have any to waste.  Find out where your community disposes of things like this and get it out of your house to make room for other things that you do need.  I am happy to go into all the science behind this so feel free to ask any questions you want.  No such thing as a stupid question.

Step #3:  Give me your Zipcode or Nearest City.  Zip is better, some cities in some states are different Zones.  I'll tell you what Zone you're in.  You need to know this.

Step #4:  Get a soil test!  This seems like a waste of money to most people.  They can't be bothered.  They have 'regular' soil and want 'regular' Grass.  If Scotts did soil tests, believe me they'd be out there with amazing commercials to push soil testing.  They make much more money on Weed N Feed and cheap Grass seed.  Look at it this way:  A soil test will tell you EXACTLY what you HAVE in your Soil and what you DON'T HAVE in your Soil.  If you HAVE it, you don't need to buy it.  Doesn't that sound cost-effective?  You'd be surprised what's down there.  Your Zip Code info will give me what I need to tell you where to get a good, moderately priced, quick, reliable soil test.  PS: Do not do a do-it-yourself test.  A good one uses lab equipment and trained scientists analyze it.  Get the soil test from the scientists.  It will tell you everything you need to know to grow great grass.

Step #4:  Mow.  Do you have a lawnmower?  Let me know if you don't.  Craigslist has people selling their lawnmowers nice and discounted because they are moving.  I'll tell you what to look for and what to avoid.  For that, I don't need a zipcode, just a followup question.  Mow twice a week at 3 inches even if you just have Weeds.  You'll weaken them and they won't have a chance to bloom and multiply.

Sorry for the long answer.  If you can Followup with a few answers, we'll take it from there.  And don't worry about your blank slate.  It's the best way to begin!  You can have a beautiful Green lawn and it will not break the bank.  This is easy.  I'll show you how.

Please remember to Rate this answer and Followup Question if there is ANYTHING that is not totally clear.  Thanks for writing.