Question
Hello, I appreciate your answer to previous question and I have an other one for you.

If you were me..Lets say you live on 5.5 acres of land that is a mixture of grass and weeds and you want it all grass. It is now mid August and the nice warm days are going to soon fade away. Would you get hopping to get rid of the weeds and wait till spring to seed for grass?..would you seed for grass now and work on the weeds in spring? I just want to do it right the first time so as not to waste time and money and give my property a very good chance for grass. What would you do? Thank you, Jerry

Answer
Jerry, I understand your question - but you don't know me from Adam and I have to tell you before I answer this that I think outside the box ALL the time.  I NEVER do ANYTHING the "usual" way.  I stopped eating Nitrites and Nitrates back in College, 30 years ago, and today I read that they're testing Frankfurters and finding the Nitrites in them cause cancer.... Hello!  30 years later?  And the Frankfurter people are objecting.  So Jerry, I may have had 5 hotdogs since 1970, and although I was still using Malathion 15 years ago, I don't use it anymore for anything.  And that's the way I do things.  It will sound extreme and a little nuts to you but I think if you have the information, denial is not going to make it go away.

That said, let's also say I wish I had your 5 1/2 acres of land.  Some problem you have there, Jerry.

Money is no object.

I live in Maryland.

My lawn service takes me for a ride every year.  I want a nice lawn and I am figuring out the only way I can do that is to do it myself.

Well, we have a few choices here.  

I don't know what the grass is.  You can't get a first rate lawn without first rate grass.  So I go to Seedland.com and pick out my favorite grass, usually a Kentucky Bluegrass strain, probably Penncross, although it is one of those things you can't go wrong and maybe you would like another one.  The idea is to get a bag of tough, vigorous, state of the art pure seed.

What about those weeds and the existing grass?  Get rid of 'em!

Step 1: Mow/Hack/Pullout all vegetation above ground.  Hopefully you have been mowing the weeds all along and they are not at the stage where they can set seed.

Step 2: Rototill.  This will yank out all weeds by the roots.  Rake up stones and separate from the dead weeds.  You need a tough, steel rake and some illegal aliens for this work.  Throw in a nice corner of the yard, somewhere that has no view, and build a pile of these dead things.  This is your first compost pile.  With 5 1/2 acres of weeds and grass, you can make 5 1/2 of these mounds, but a big one is better because it will cook faster.  Water the pile and wait for it to turn into gold.  Back to the lawn.

Step 3:  Rototill in some Pelletized Lime and a generous amount (since money is no object) of Organic Compost and/or Humus and/or manure from your neighbor's horse farm.  Bone Meal is expensive but terrific stuff for your future grass if you don't think the cost prohibitive.  Superphosphate does not have the lifespan of Bonemeal; it's cheaper but you'll have to reapply; it risks burning roots if not applied carefully, and it does not work as well - like eating a single healthy meal a week (Superphosphate), instead of 3 meals a day plus snacks (Bone Meal).

Step 4:  More illegal aliens now should use a large rake for evening out the soil, make it nice and smooth.  Water the bare dirt.

Step 5:  Cover your 5 1/2 acres of dirt with 5 1/2 acres of clear polyethylene sheets from Home Depot anchored with large rocks or cinder blocks.  Wait 6 weeks.

Now it's late September.  All weeds have been removed, all weed seeds germinated, all plant life has ceased beneath the clear polyethylene.  I know you're not going to get this far.  I did warn you - outside the box.  This process by the way is called "Solarization" and it will kill EVERYTHING under the plastic better than the most effective weed killer money can by, and it won't make anyone sick, ever.  Not even the illegals.

So now we are at Step 6.  You have limed, weedkilled, enriched and graded.  Remove the plastic.  It is now time to sow your grass.  Best time to sow a lawn is when the temperatures are around 60-85 degrees.  September is just fine and dandy for your neck of the woods.  The days are balmy, the nights are chilly, there's lots of beautiful weather and seed germinates quickly and evenly.  By mid-autumn, you will have a dense lawn, ready for its first mowing.  You need a drop spreader for this job.  I prefer to add White Dutch Clover because there is nothing like it to fertilize the grass with fixed Nitrogen.

At this point you may be thinking, I think I'll sod instead.

Sod is the best selling grass on the market.  I don't like it because I didn't pick out the grass, I don't like the high saturation of the sod with pesticides etc. to keep it looking perfect, and it still needs to be placed on all that carefully prepared soil that is tilled and raked and solarized.  After all that work, seed does not seem like a big deal.

Step 7: You can put fertilizer down right after you sow your seed.  Since the soil is sterile, you do not need to even consider anything made by Scotts or anyone else who is making a killing in the chemicals business.  I personally like Milorganite.  There are criticisms of Milorganite, but the earth-friendly spirit says to me, Buy that.

While you're at it, may as well sprinkle Milky Spore Disease, "Bacillus popillae-Dutky," all over the soil to get the Japanese Beetle grubs out of your life.  Who needs Grub Killer?  This works perfectly.  Unlike contact pesticides, Milky Spore uses the Search and Destroy method of identifying these little white larvae.

Step 8:  Water.  Mist lightly several times during the day.  Then apply a THIN layer of dark colored Mulch - dark humus or compost is best because it absorbs heat ever so slightly better.  Next morning, re-water - this will minimize damping off of seedlings.  The Mulch will keep your seed moist and accelerate germination.  In a week your new lawn will begin to green up.

Step 8: It is 3 weeks since I planted.  Time to mow.  Take this job seriously.  Check the scientifically calibrated charts for the seed you purchased on Seedland to determine the PERFECT mowing height for your grass.  A rotary mower is preferably but for 5 1/2 acres this may not be realistic - but if you get 2 or 3 illegals to do the work, you will be able to use the superior Rotary mower, which slices blades of grass.  I prefer the precision Brill mowers made in Germany.  No diesel gas makes them even better.  And no noise pollution.  Mow LIGHTLY in the morning, but wait until AFTER the dew has evaporated.  NEVER mow wet grass.  DO NOT remove clippings.

Step 9:  It is 4 weeks after I sowed the seed.  Halloween is around the corner.  Re-fertilize.

Step 10:  Take pictures of The Perfect Lawn.  Send to the Long Island Gardener.

At this point your neighbors will be all thinking the same thing:  The grass is always greener on the other side.

They'll be right.  You will never deal with fungus problems.  Your illegal alien population will be down on its hands and knees pulling out dandelions as quickly as possible - but not all of them, because dandelions are great for loosening soil and they do contribute biodiversity.  Which is a key to avoiding all pathogens.  If you have children, teach them never to make wishes on those Dandelion seedpods around the rest of the neighborhood.  OK, maybe once in a while would be ok.

I think this book is now finished.  Soon to be a major motion picture.  Enjoy your weekend.  Let me know if you need clarification on anything - or if you disagree!  I love a good argument.