Question
Growing lawns to show up the neighbors seems like such a waste. What are some environmental friendly alternatives to lawn-growing?

Answer
So you want to be the first on your block, Will?

Old habits die hard. It would be WONDERFUL if we could pick up the English habit of growing lawn alternatives.

I must point out, before continuing, that there is a downside to non-grass.  The hand weeding is murder.

Of course, back in Shakespearean England, no one gave that a second thought.  For centuries, solid English class divisions have always ensured an available flock of eager laborers ready to heel and kneel and weed, weed, weed while Madame enjoyed tea in the parlor.

All "mowing" of grass was done by hand for hundreds of years.  Or where possible by Sheep.

Along came Britisher Edwin Beard Budding.  He invented the reel lawnmower in 1830.

It appears from what I have seen that almost all lawns were Chamomile until modern times, when traffic-tolerant Grass, used on bowling greens and tennis courts, caught on as a replacement.  You just know that Vita Sackville-West and friends only occasionally picked up a shovel.  The dirty work was surely performed by grazing Sheep or by The Help, pulling Crabgrass and Creeping Charlie out from between the Chamomile even after Mr. Budding's mowing machine.

And so in some contexts, the democratic Grass lawn is American as apple pie.  The best grass research is All American.

Still, there is a strong, contemporary argument against the suburban lawn.  In times like these, watering grass when farmers in the Sudan cannot find water for their livestock is just plain vulgar.

We have come full circle.

And so we begin:

There's Moss.  There's Chamomile.  There's Creeping Thyme.  There's Pennyroyal.  Herewith, the pro's and cons and cultural perclivities of grass substitutes for the great american lawn:

CHAMOMILE: Chamaemelum nobile (also called Anthemis nobilis, "Roman" Chamomile) is a creeping perennial evergreen. At 3 inches tall, this herb spreads by runners to form soft, ferny mats that release their aromatic oils as they are crushed.

Chamomile needs plenty of sun and just the right kind of moisture to do well. Think London fog -- cool summers, mild winters. In the right climate, it is easy to grow from seed... plus you can make tea out of it (although annual Chamomile is better for this). If you have brutal winters, even occasionally, or if your soil is less than perfectly draining clay, you can forget about Chamomile; it needs perfect drainage and mild weather 4 seasons a year.  Not too hot.  Not too cold.  Not too dry.  Not too wet.

But if you can manage - I have heard that the fragrance of an occasional stroll across a Chamomile lawn is totally awesome.

Seedland (www.seedland.com) includes Chamomile as a lawn substitute and posts photos and selling points(www.wildflowermix.com/info/180+common/chamomile-roman.html). I expect Seedland's description of Chamomile growing to a height of "6 to 12 inches" is a reference to its daisy-like blooming height.

"Trenague," a non-flowering English Chamomile, is said to be more compact and does not need to be mowed.  But it is barely hardy and grows very, very slowly if you are able to keep it thru the winter.  

Victorians supposedly liked to grow this plant in mounds on their stone garden benches to release the fragrant oils when they sat down.  Buckingham Palace has a Chamomile lawn; give it a go when you're in London.

The Chamomile lawn you dream of, complete with lavender border, is posted by Thompson and Morgan (seeds.thompson-morgan.com/us/en/product/7847/2). They make it sound like a piece of cake -- which it is, in the right climate.  That perfect combination of soil, temperature, drainage and humidity for 4 seasons a year is elusive unless you're living in certain English latitudes.  

For one gardener's failure to grow Chamomile see The London Times post from June 7, 2006, "Waddesdon's Chamomile Secret" (timesonline.typepad.com/gardening/2006/06/waddesdons_cham.html)

ENGLISH PENNYROYAL: Hailing from the Mint family, the semi-evergreen perennial Mentha pulegium is one of those creeping, aromatic plants that smells so good as you walk along, you don't want to leave.

Butterflies love it; Fleas and Mosquitos hate it - this is a registered Pesticide in some states.  Left to flower it will grow to 2 feet.

Pennyroyal needs sun and hates excessive moisture. Even the English are having trouble with it - it used to grow as a weed all over the British Isles, but in recent years was listed as a "UK Biodiversity Action Plan priority species", its decline blamed on scarcity of its natural habitats.

To grow English Pennyroyal, you need Mediterranean air and temperatures - around 45 degrees F to 78 degrees F.  That's quite mild, not too hot and not too cold.  

I have tried to grow this between flagstones in my garden on Long Island, but it was so hard to tell the difference between the Pennyroyal and the weeds that I weeded it out by mistake.

MOSS: This is a popular groundcover in Japanese gardens - some moss gardens there were planted in the 19th century. Some Americans however have such disdain for Moss they can't wait to rush to the Pesticide market and pick up a toxic bottle of Spray 'n' De-moss.

Moss thrives in soil that is poor, acidic, compacted and has poor drainage - the kind of ground made of red clay.  And it needs some serious shade to grow - not light.

Not light? This is NOT your average growing plant - it does not make seeds, it is not even a green plant.  It gets slippery when wet, and so it is even dangerous to walk on, which is good because Moss can't take foot traffic.  Ever see Moss growing in the driveway?

To grow Moss, mix equal parts Moss (dirt removed), Buttermilk and Water in a blender.  Paint over the area you expect to grow your Moss on.  Wait months or even years for this mixture to "blossom".

CREEPING TYUME (Thymus serphyllum) can take a moderate amount of foot traffic.  The High Country Gardens website (www.highcountrygardens.com/article198.html) posts instructions on "How to plant a thyme lawn".  

Thyme is hardy in zones 7 through 9.  

Finally, I refer you to "God's Take On Lawns" (www.richsoil.com/lawn/god.html), a divine message for those Weed-And-Feed Round-Up people who still don't get it.

Lawn alternatives? It isn't simple.

But you know what they say, don't you?

"Where there's a Will...there's a Way..."

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Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.
?Henry James