Question
First off, I'm a moron, so talk idiot to me.  I have a big ol' totem pole cactus which has grown five arms out of it.  Is there a way to cut off one of the arms and transplant it elsewhere in the garden?  Is there a specific place to hack the arm off?  Does it need specific food or soil?  Will the amputation kill or endanger the rest of the plant?  Do I apply Band aids after the amputation?  Don't laugh--I'm an idiot!!!

Answer
Paul,

Is there a way to cut off one of the arms and transplant it elsewhere in the garden?  Yes, depending on the size of the arms, a hack saw will work great. But before you do, take a black magic marker and make a spot on the bottom of the arm, on the south side. I'll explain why in a minute.

Is there a specific place to hack the arm off?  Yes, anywhere, but it looks best if you cut it off right where it joins the main stem.

Does it need specific food or soil?  No, but you do need to let it sit and heal for at least 2 weeks after you cut it. When you plant it, make sure the black dot mark you made is facing south, otherwise your plant will sunburn.

Will the amputation kill or endanger the rest of the plant?  No, it should be just fine.

Do I apply Band aids after the amputation? No, as I mentioned earlier, let it sit out (in the shade) for a couple of weeks before replanting. The main stem won't need any special treatment at all.

Hope this helps...all great questions.

Sincerely,

Greg